Are you divorce intended?

 

Are you questioning your marriage and facing the dilemma of divorce?  

You may be the spouse who is trying to decide should you stay or should you go.    A parent's decision to divorce is a long thought-out process made after much deliberation and soul searching.

When one parent states they want a divorce a common question from the other parent is ‘what about the children’.  Thinking about how divorce will impact your child is a valid concern.  

Divorce brings about many changes for everyone-especially for your child.  Your child’s world is changing at an emotional, physical and possibly financially level. This is especially true when one parent moves out, relocates and/or resides with a new spouse.

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Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.  ~Leo Tolstoy


Divorce is difficult for the entire family and everyone reacts differently.  A parent of divorce watches their child transition between two homes two times per week.  If your  co-parent has remarried there may be the added component of seeing and hearing how your child is navigating their new family.  

This is the realization of divorce with children.  This is the wickedness of divorce!  Your child will have to experience situations and suffer emotional turmoil because of a parent's decision to divorce.

A parents' marriage is the foundation for a child's life.  How their parents feel about each other and how they interact means something to  the child's well-being and teaches the child about relationships.  Divorce does not change that.  

Divorce means that the burden of responsibility may shift.  The child is struggling with the differences that the child observes in their changing worlds, the two homes.   Because of divorce, sometimes, the parents are not working together to figure out the daily issues that occur within in the child's life.  

The conflict of divorce may be transferred to the child's inner life. Family goals and common ground issues established at the beginning of the marriage, are now issues of contempt.  Sometimes, neither parent is truly present or the parents are at polar opposites on how to resolve issues.   

Sadly, sometimes, the child needs to confront common and major issues by their themselves.  This can be overwhelming and extremely lonely for the child.    

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The name of this site is:  Shared Parenting Info

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The motto of this  site is: Divorce is between the parents-About the child! 
LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!! LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   

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The purpose of this site is to create awareness on the value of positive shared parenting and the impact this may have on the body, mind and spirit of the child. 

This site is designed to provide tools to co-parents to maximize communication and offer ways to enrich the co-parent/child relationship. 

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Divorce is different for everyone.  The decision to divorce is up to the parent.  

The impact of divorce falls on the entire family!

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Our society has two different child-rearing philosophies, one for children of married parents and one for children of divorce.  The needs of children of married parents and children of divorced parents are the same. They're the same species; we just find it inconvenient to treat them that way. Children of divorce are resilient we say. Why? Because we need for them to be.      ~Marriage Missions, Quotes on Children and Divorce

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What is DIVORCE INTENDED? 

There are three parts:

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1.  Practical Considerations: A Work sheet

If you are Divorce Intended?  Read this first! Practical Considerations: A Work Sheet  

This provides insight into the day to day occurrences in a divorce situation.  

For example, questions #9 asks how much involvement do you want someone else to have in your child's life?

If you remarry or reside with another adult, your child may/will be impacted and be involved with another adult at the same level your child experienced before the divorce with just you and your co-parent.  

As part of the evaluation process in filing for divorce or separating, complete the questions and the exercises in the Practical Considerations work sheet.    Perhaps you will find that many tasks and outcomes are not what you want for you and your family.   Re-evaluate your situation  and decide accordingly.

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2.  Questions to ask yourself before deciding to divorce 

Questions to Ask Yourself Before deciding to DIVORCE This section is created for those who may be considering the option of divorce; for those who may be on the fence in the decision to divorce. 

Deciding to divorce is a personal choice.  Undoubtedly, for some parents, this may be the only doable option. 

3. Questions about your marriage and family

Questions About Your Marriage and Family  Offers questions about your marriage and the legacy you want to leave to your children about relationships.  Five questions to help in the decision process to see if you are DIVORCE Intended? 

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