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INclude ways to mainstream the transition to your co-parents's home.

Establishing a routine can reduce anxiety and help things run smoothly.

Create a checklist to follow on transition day.

Ask specific questions and coordinate with your co-parent or check a site you may use (such as familywizard.com).  Be sure to  include specialty items that are needed , i.e. gift for party, costumes, special clothes for an event/party.

If there are now two homes, and two families. Consider: 2 sets of products for morning/evening routine.  This can be especially useful with  adolescents and tweens (and could save your sanity!)

 

 

Real Life Experience

A co-parenting success story

Shared Parenting is in the best interest of the child!

Like most parents, these parents LOVED their little girl and were concerned about their 7-year-old daughter adjusting to the divorce.  After these co-parents separated they both agreed that they wanted to minimize the trauma of their daughter living in two homes. They wanted to make the transition of divorce easier for their daughter.  Both  parents agreed that they did not want her to feel insecure about transitioning back and forth.   After much thought and a little research, they came up with a scathingly brilliant plan.  

See how these co-parents worked together and provided similar environments for their daughter.  This divorce puts their daughter at the forefront and made their divorce ABOUT THE CHILD!

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Their goal?  To put their daughter first!  

What did they do?  How did they accomplish this goal?  

They made efforts to create a matching environment in their daughter's bedroom and bathroom.

Co-parents purchased a bedroom set matching the furniture in the home when her parents were married and living together. Co-parents chose identical , bedding and accessories.  Her bedroom included the same toys duplicating the arrangement in   each co-parent’s home. 

Bathroom accessories matched.  Parents coordinated efforts to purchase the same toothbrush, toothpaste, bath toys, towels, and bath products.

Living and dining areas were dupicated as much as possible, e.g. dishware, furniture.

Co-parents worked together to make sure the same foods were available in both homes.  

Co-parents worked together as a team and established a set schedule for their daughter. Bedtime was the same in each home. The after school routine and homework schedule was the same in both homes. Rules and guidelines for behavioral expectations were identical and maintained in each home.

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Amazing right?

We could ask the likely question, if they are able to work together so well, why are they divorced?  The answer is unknown. They choose to be divorced and put their daughter first.

In essence, this child experienced minimal disruption when transitioning between her two homes.  

This is clearly a case where the parents put the child first.  

And, the goal of minimal disruption in transitions?

Mission accomplished!!

This divorce is between the parents and  About the child!

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Take home message:

One can never go wrong by doing the right thing!

The time is never to late to begin making efforts to act in  the best interest of the child.

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Does this sound like something you would like to provide for your child? 

How can you, as a parent recreate this way of co-parenting?

As a start: 

~ Develop a system to ensure required or desired clothing is at the appropriate place. 

~Pre-teens and adolescents may have more extensive needs and specific wants in this area.    Having their favorite clothes and accessories is important. Not having the right items or beauty products may create havoc impacting everyone. Making efforts to simplify this process and accommodate the needs of the child will be worth the effort!

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Do Over? or Re-do?                             Re-do!!!

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